Nov. 1 2008 (I am a Alcoholic)Last day I drank OCT.31,2008
This is a day that changed my life. As you see the picture above is of me and mike at a Halloween party Mike was DJing. I didn't realize until that weekend how much of a problem I had, Up till then I thought I had life under control but no. I had a sever drinking problem and it was out of control. No one really new it was a issue. I of course did not either but when your husband tells you that you need to stop for your safety and your relationship then its a problem. I came form a long line of drinkers so It came very easy to me. I was not an every day drinker I was a binge drinker and I was so bad that I did some real damage to my liver. I knew I was having issue when my doctor started asking questions. She couldn't believe how much damage I did on just drinking on the weekend. Little did she know just how much I could drink. I use to brag about how much I could drink now I know how stupid it sounded. My choice of drink was Hard liquor, any thing I could mix I would drink. It got to the point that when I came into the bar I had my own table with my bottles (witches table). I know I mad lots of mistakes in my life but this is one that I will live with forever. You know I really don't know how to ex-plane the feeling that a Drunk gets when they have to have a drink its almost like a junkie needing drugs. I realized with a lot of soul searching that the reason I wanted to drink was to run from my emotions. When I drank I was happy and numb and I liked it. I didn't have to deal with life or reality at that time so if it worked then why not do it. Until that night did I not know that it was not just me being effected by my drinking it was my family. I never wanted to hurt them ever, but I did not really knowing or caring. So then I ask the question of what kind of mother was I? So becasue of the love of my family I made a choice to stop drinking. I did not got to rehab or any program outside of my relationship with God. I thank him for delivering me from Alcoholism. Yes it is a struggle when times get tough but I turn to god to bring me through it. If anyone is drinking to get drunk you need to ask your self why? If you can't stop when you start then you have an issue. Get help don't let it destroy you and your family like it almost did mine. The bible tells us:
EPHESIANS 5:8-21
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
PROVERBS 23:20-21
20 Do not join those who drink too much wine
or gorge themselves on meat,
21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor,
and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
How true the word of God is!
Until tonight a whole 3 yrs later did I really let my self feel the sadness that I caused to my family and the damage I have done to my children. Please O lord help those that can not help themselves.
3YRS SOBER = 1095 DAYS
